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Learning The Right Way Of Meditation Through Focused Attention
If you're just beginning to learn meditation, either as part of a guided meditation group or on your own, you work for five or ten minutes each session; try to sit each day at the same time, morning or evening, whichever suits you right. You give the daily five to ten minutes to expand to fifteen or twenty minutes as the weeks go by, but you certainly don't try and stress the pace.
Meditation isn't about gritting the teeth in determination. It's about sitting quietly with yourself, and while it needs its own kind of discipline this has less to do with toughness than with compliant and letting go.
When the certain thoughts or emotions arise, you allow them to pass in and out of attention like clouds reflected in water. You don't try and push them away, but leave them to pass on their own pace. No matter how 'important' the thoughts seem to be or how pressing or demanding the feelings, you don't hang on to them or allow one thought or emotion to set off another and another till you are down on a wool-gathering trail that takes you further and further from the simple point of the breathe in and breathe out.
If, nevertheless, you do get carried away, gently but firmly go back to your breathing the time you realize this has happened. Avoid being impatient with yourself or convincing yourself you'll never pick up how to meditate. Your drifting mind is simply demonstrating to you just how much you need to practice your meditation techniques. It is assisting you, prompting you, showing you how less control you have over your own thinking. The right response is gratitude, gratitude towards that part of your mind that has become aware you are wool-gathering and that has prompted you to return to your point of focus.
I cannot stress enough how important this attitude of gratitude is. If you curse yourself each time you become aware you are lost in thought, you will not only be arousing the unwelcome emotion of self-disgust, you will be taming your mind not to remind you when it is wandering later on. You are in effect punishing it each time for reminding you, and naturally it doesn't like being punished. So it will remind you less and less often, and you will find attention becomes harder and harder. In response to the disappointment that this brings, your mind will then start whispering persuasively to you that meditation is a total waste of effort, and that you would be well advised to find something greater to do with your time.
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